We have looked at the different guys that you might meet in an LDS singles ward. Now we turn our attention the array of girls you might meet on a typical Sunday at your singles ward.
“The Flight Attendant”-Clear this girl for landing and make way for all her baggage. She carries the weight of past relationships on her shoulders, on her face, and on the tip of her tongue jumping at an open ear who will receive her woeful cries. Sitting next to this girl in Sacrament meeting you will find out more about what has gone on in her life in the last 6 months than you would from living with your roommates for the last six years. You cannot do or say anything to this girl without evoking a “Whats that supposed to mean?” or “He used to always tell me.” When you date the flight attendant you not only have to work really hard on your own imperfections but you have to constantly apologize for those who have gone before you and marked the path.
“The Dew-Gooder”- Part of your heart really goes out for this girl in the singles ward. There is an old adage that says “You should always marry above you” that why you are constantly working hard every day just to keep up with the one that you love. That works for everyone except for “The Dew-Gooder.” Paying homage to former Relief Society presidency member Sheri Dew(Wiki), the “Dew-Gooder” is too good for anyone in the ward to date. She has educated herself, managed her home, learned the gospel, kept her physical, mental, financial, and spiritual goals in check, and by so doing intimidated any would be suitor. She wants more than anything to have someone who will love her and meet her where she stands in life but the man that would be her equal is few and far between.
“The Senior Companion”-Regardless of how long this Sister has been home for the mission, if you ever date her you know who will be in charge. You can recognize her by her mission issue shoes and plain conservative dress (Sister Dress Requirements). Her hair will be moderate length and style. Her testimonies always begin with “I have had some challenging experiences in the last (however long it was since she last bore her testimony) and I just have to say how grateful that I am for the challenges that the Lord has blessed me with.
Blogs introductions to 3 Types of single LDS girls
http://confessionsofasinglemormongirl.blogspot.com/2008/05/just-call-me-bridget.html
http://confessionsofasinglemormongirl.blogspot.com/2008/05/who-am-i-leah.html
http://confessionsofasinglemormongirl.blogspot.com/2008/05/marcia-marcia-marcia.html
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Follow-up To What type of LDS Guy Are you
After I had already posted the "What type of LDS Single guy are you" I found this video made by Patrick Muir and posted on youtube.
Dont be these guys.
Dont be these guys.
DTR? What is the DTR?
I get asked by my out of state friends all the time what a "DTR" is. I'm not sure Mormons have the corner on the market, but it is something that can be heard whispered every Sunday during the opening exercises of Sunday school. "So we totally had a DTR last night and I think he is totally into me." It means Define(ing) The Relationship. Here is a great video that the people at divinecomedy.net came up with.
Are LDS singles going against their leaders counsel unknowingly?
Thousands of Latter Day saint singles may be defying church leaders advice and not be aware of it. The top 3 LDS singles online dating sites LDS Singles.com, LDSplanet.com, and LDSmingle.com promote superficial practices that go against the basic fundamentals taught to singles of the LDS church. These sites gather “profile information” (i.e. height, body type, hair color) that promotes an emphasis on physical attributes in written and picture form.
President Ezra Taft Benson who served as the thirteenth president of the LDS church from 1985-1994 counseled single members to look for the inner beauty of a mate. “Now, brethren, do not expect perfection in your choice of a mate. Do not be so particular that you overlook her most important qualities of having a strong testimony, living the principles of the gospel, loving home, wanting to be a mother in Zion, and supporting you in your priesthood responsibilities. Of course, she should be attractive to you, but do not just date one girl after another for the sole pleasure of dating without seeking the Lord’s confirmation in your choice of your eternal companion. (Eternal Marriage pg 51)
Breanne Bassett, a 25 year old LDS single from Sandy, feels like online dating websites are not natural. “How can you really get to know about a person when you are not face to face with them?” Bassett has never registered with any of the LDS sites but has friends who have participated. “I don’t have a problem with it, it’s just not for me, not quite yet.” Bassett agrees that these LDS online dating sites allow people to pick and choose the kind of people that they are interested in dating and not actually get to know the person behind the profile.
Stacey Taggert, a 26 year old LDS single from Murray, has a problem with all of the information that is presented at online dating sites. “People aren’t truthful at all. I think they are shady. I know people who represent themselves as LDS members when they actually are not.”
The dishonesty and misrepresentation apparent in online LDS dating disagrees with the church’s guidelines for seeking a companion. The church has guidelines for selecting a mate found in “For the strength of Youth,” a pamphlet distributed to single church members. “In cultures where dating or courtship is acceptable, dating can help you develop lasting friendships and eventually find an eternal companion. Date only those who have high standards and in whose company you can maintain your standards. A young man and a young woman on a date are responsible to help each other maintain their standards and to protect each other’s honor and virtue.” (Eternal Marriage pg 55)
Jaley Stinson, a 27 year old mother of 3 and recent divorcee found herself a victim of the dishonesty that occurs with online dating. Stinson registered for LDSLinkup.com, another online LDS dating service, where she found her temple-sealed husband of six years registered as a single person. “You can be anyone you want to be online.” Said Stinson. “I don’t trust people enough to invest any sort of time into something that isn’t real.”
Real or not real, Stinson has other reasons she feels that internet dating sites are not in congruence with LDS church principles. “Online people say things they wouldn’t say to a person if they were live there with them. It’s almost a non-reality when it is just words on a screen.”
Despite the many negative perceptions there are those who hold true to their usefulness.
Courtney Redd, a 23 year old single in Boston Massachussetts, thinks that the dishonest stigma surrounding online dating sites is dissolving. “People are more open and honest in online dating sites now due to the popularity of other social networking sites like Facebook or Myspace.”
Though not a user of online LDS dating sites Lyonel Gammon, a 22 year old return missionary from Logan, couldn’t agree more. “I have a buddy who met his wife online. I don’t think it’s weird at all. I think it is up for each person decide for themselves.”
Gammons comments echo the words of Joseph Smith, prophet and founder of the LDS church, who said “Teach them correct principles and let them govern themselves.”
There is no official doctrine put forth from leaders of the LDS church in regards to online dating.
*Source. http://institute.lds.org/content/manuals/inst-234-235-student-marriage.pdf
President Ezra Taft Benson who served as the thirteenth president of the LDS church from 1985-1994 counseled single members to look for the inner beauty of a mate. “Now, brethren, do not expect perfection in your choice of a mate. Do not be so particular that you overlook her most important qualities of having a strong testimony, living the principles of the gospel, loving home, wanting to be a mother in Zion, and supporting you in your priesthood responsibilities. Of course, she should be attractive to you, but do not just date one girl after another for the sole pleasure of dating without seeking the Lord’s confirmation in your choice of your eternal companion. (Eternal Marriage pg 51)
Breanne Bassett, a 25 year old LDS single from Sandy, feels like online dating websites are not natural. “How can you really get to know about a person when you are not face to face with them?” Bassett has never registered with any of the LDS sites but has friends who have participated. “I don’t have a problem with it, it’s just not for me, not quite yet.” Bassett agrees that these LDS online dating sites allow people to pick and choose the kind of people that they are interested in dating and not actually get to know the person behind the profile.
Stacey Taggert, a 26 year old LDS single from Murray, has a problem with all of the information that is presented at online dating sites. “People aren’t truthful at all. I think they are shady. I know people who represent themselves as LDS members when they actually are not.”
The dishonesty and misrepresentation apparent in online LDS dating disagrees with the church’s guidelines for seeking a companion. The church has guidelines for selecting a mate found in “For the strength of Youth,” a pamphlet distributed to single church members. “In cultures where dating or courtship is acceptable, dating can help you develop lasting friendships and eventually find an eternal companion. Date only those who have high standards and in whose company you can maintain your standards. A young man and a young woman on a date are responsible to help each other maintain their standards and to protect each other’s honor and virtue.” (Eternal Marriage pg 55)
Jaley Stinson, a 27 year old mother of 3 and recent divorcee found herself a victim of the dishonesty that occurs with online dating. Stinson registered for LDSLinkup.com, another online LDS dating service, where she found her temple-sealed husband of six years registered as a single person. “You can be anyone you want to be online.” Said Stinson. “I don’t trust people enough to invest any sort of time into something that isn’t real.”
Real or not real, Stinson has other reasons she feels that internet dating sites are not in congruence with LDS church principles. “Online people say things they wouldn’t say to a person if they were live there with them. It’s almost a non-reality when it is just words on a screen.”
Despite the many negative perceptions there are those who hold true to their usefulness.
Courtney Redd, a 23 year old single in Boston Massachussetts, thinks that the dishonest stigma surrounding online dating sites is dissolving. “People are more open and honest in online dating sites now due to the popularity of other social networking sites like Facebook or Myspace.”
Though not a user of online LDS dating sites Lyonel Gammon, a 22 year old return missionary from Logan, couldn’t agree more. “I have a buddy who met his wife online. I don’t think it’s weird at all. I think it is up for each person decide for themselves.”
Gammons comments echo the words of Joseph Smith, prophet and founder of the LDS church, who said “Teach them correct principles and let them govern themselves.”
There is no official doctrine put forth from leaders of the LDS church in regards to online dating.
*Source. http://institute.lds.org/content/manuals/inst-234-235-student-marriage.pdf
Monday, April 27, 2009
What type of Single LDS guy are you?
I have done a lot of research into the female side of these kind of blogs. *(Site 1, Site 2, Site 3)It seems that each writer at one point or another finds themselves characterizing different guys that she might meet. There always is “The Player” (Players Guide) or “The Mamas boy” (MOM Love) or “The Best Friend”. At a different time I will attempt to label and group single LDS women into sub-categories based on generalizations and stereotypes. At this point I would like to give a male perspective on single LDS males.
“The Handshake Guy”- This is the guy that you meet when you have no sooner sat down in your seat than he is right next to you. He wants to know where you’re from, why you’re in that ward, and what you do for a living. He will usually react with awe as you relate your profession even if it is just an office clerk or nighttime janitor, and the moment that you get to where you are from his mind begins to work on who he might know that you might know. “You are from Alaska”? he might say…”Well do you know…so and so” regardless of the fact that Alaska is twice the size of Texas and that the person he knows from Alaska lived there for two years from the ages of 3-5. He is someone that you never want to tell your real personal business to because no matter how he says he can keep a secret, at the instant that it might advance him towards his coveted role of Elders Quorum President he will spew out his new found knowledge like a boiling can of beans restin
g on a boy scout campfire.
“The Water Bottle at Church Guy”-What may be a normal day in church for you is a walk through the Mojave desert for this guy. He is perhaps the easiest to spot because his quirks are on the outside… or are they. Usually the “Water Bottle at Church Guy” has a story behind the bottle and you can bet your whole tithing check he wants you to ask him. “Why am I carrying this bottle” he might reply “Well I can’t get parched because I am singing in church today (cue: swoon because he is musically talented.) He might also reply “I’ve just been so sick I have to keep fluids going through my body” (I really want someone who will mother me)
“Beard Guy” There is actually two types of beard guy: The first type of beard guy is I have a beard because I don’t want look like all the short hair clean shaven cookie cutter elders. He wants to be an individual let people know that he lives by his own rules and plays his own game. Often times he is more accepting of people and will be the one to offer up the “controversial” comment in class that begins discussion. This beard guy goes to great lengths to make sure that he fulfills every bit of his calling as to not fill the stereotype of being a slacker just because he has a beard.
The second type of “beard guy” would say “I have a beard because I can’t be bothered to take care of myself.” These guy usually wears a bear of corduroys from the late 90’s or a pair of khaki pants that his mom went with to purchase right before his first year of college . He will be wearing brown leather slip on shoes (because he can’t be bothered to tie the laces) and white socks.
“The Bowtie Guy” (synonym “Suspender Guy")- This the guy that everyone in ward knows. He is everyone’s friend and if you want to know what’s “going-on” in the ward this is the guy for you. This guy probably served on Student government in high school or was on institute council in college. He is very rarely seen with a girl not by his choosing, but because nature has dealt him the “you’re like a good friend to me” card time and time again. He thrives on attention and wants more than anything to be taken seriously but is often regarded as a muse or jester to occupy the dead time during the block.
“Colored shirt-No tie guy”- Last but certainly not forgotten (Your eyes are drawn to him the second he walks in the Chapel) This guy was the popular guy in his high school or his college fraternity. He is more often than not accompanied by the “Can you wear that to church and still be considered modest” girl. This guy is usually in great athletic shape and uses his physique as an excuse to why he isn’t wearing a tie. “I can’t get the top button to button cause my neck is too big” might be his retort to heckling from the bowtie guy. Yep, they don’t sell bigger shirts than that at your Macy’s, Dillards, or insert random mall store here do they?
*Website Citations
Site 1-http://confessionsofasinglemormongirl.blogspot.com/
Site 2-http://molly-mormon.com/
Site 3-http://singlemormongirl.wordpress.com/2007/12/18/how-to-spot-a-player/
“The Handshake Guy”- This is the guy that you meet when you have no sooner sat down in your seat than he is right next to you. He wants to know where you’re from, why you’re in that ward, and what you do for a living. He will usually react with awe as you relate your profession even if it is just an office clerk or nighttime janitor, and the moment that you get to where you are from his mind begins to work on who he might know that you might know. “You are from Alaska”? he might say…”Well do you know…so and so” regardless of the fact that Alaska is twice the size of Texas and that the person he knows from Alaska lived there for two years from the ages of 3-5. He is someone that you never want to tell your real personal business to because no matter how he says he can keep a secret, at the instant that it might advance him towards his coveted role of Elders Quorum President he will spew out his new found knowledge like a boiling can of beans restin
g on a boy scout campfire.“The Water Bottle at Church Guy”-What may be a normal day in church for you is a walk through the Mojave desert for this guy. He is perhaps the easiest to spot because his quirks are on the outside… or are they. Usually the “Water Bottle at Church Guy” has a story behind the bottle and you can bet your whole tithing check he wants you to ask him. “Why am I carrying this bottle” he might reply “Well I can’t get parched because I am singing in church today (cue: swoon because he is musically talented.) He might also reply “I’ve just been so sick I have to keep fluids going through my body” (I really want someone who will mother me)
“Beard Guy” There is actually two types of beard guy: The first type of beard guy is I have a beard because I don’t want look like all the short hair clean shaven cookie cutter elders. He wants to be an individual let people know that he lives by his own rules and plays his own game. Often times he is more accepting of people and will be the one to offer up the “controversial” comment in class that begins discussion. This beard guy goes to great lengths to make sure that he fulfills every bit of his calling as to not fill the stereotype of being a slacker just because he has a beard.
The second type of “beard guy” would say “I have a beard because I can’t be bothered to take care of myself.” These guy usually wears a bear of corduroys from the late 90’s or a pair of khaki pants that his mom went with to purchase right before his first year of college . He will be wearing brown leather slip on shoes (because he can’t be bothered to tie the laces) and white socks.
“The Bowtie Guy” (synonym “Suspender Guy")- This the guy that everyone in ward knows. He is everyone’s friend and if you want to know what’s “going-on” in the ward this is the guy for you. This guy probably served on Student government in high school or was on institute council in college. He is very rarely seen with a girl not by his choosing, but because nature has dealt him the “you’re like a good friend to me” card time and time again. He thrives on attention and wants more than anything to be taken seriously but is often regarded as a muse or jester to occupy the dead time during the block.
“Colored shirt-No tie guy”- Last but certainly not forgotten (Your eyes are drawn to him the second he walks in the Chapel) This guy was the popular guy in his high school or his college fraternity. He is more often than not accompanied by the “Can you wear that to church and still be considered modest” girl. This guy is usually in great athletic shape and uses his physique as an excuse to why he isn’t wearing a tie. “I can’t get the top button to button cause my neck is too big” might be his retort to heckling from the bowtie guy. Yep, they don’t sell bigger shirts than that at your Macy’s, Dillards, or insert random mall store here do they?
*Website Citations
Site 1-http://confessionsofasinglemormongirl.blogspot.com/
Site 2-http://molly-mormon.com/
Site 3-http://singlemormongirl.wordpress.com/2007/12/18/how-to-spot-a-player/
Welcome to Hold To The Blog
Hold To The Blog is an online guide for the Latter Day single male. It provides details that are necessary for the single, righteous, priesthood bearing latter day saint. Hold To The Blog will help the brethren of the church be of the “peculiar people” but not a “peculiar” person. Frequent subjects of this blog include - but are not limited to – personal hygiene and style advice, dating tips and stories, relationship questions and answers. This blog is in no way supported or endorsed by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, the Mormon Church, the Church of the Latter Day Saints, or the Mormons. Topics on this blog are never to represented as Doctrine of the Church, they are never meant to be shared as “experiences” in testimony meeting, they are not lessons for F.H.E. nor are they building blocks for a last minute Sacrament talk. This blog is meant to be first and foremost entertaining, then informative, then provocative, then divisive, then as a laxative. If at anytime while reading this paragraph you were inspired to share this blog with your friends or family please send an email to HoldToTheBlog@gmail.com and one of our site representatives will be in touch with that individual share with them the message that you have enjoyed. Read on and remember Return With Honor.
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